Burden my heart and give me passion to pray
Beyond a need to breathe,
Beyond a want for things;
On my heart, the pain of others lay
That I might be provoked and stirred to a tremble
Beyond these walls,
Beyond it all;
May Your Spirit reside in this temple.
Make me into the instrument that You need
Beyond my mind
Beyond the enemy’s line
Show me how to bleed
Break my body; break my spirit to travail
Past the daylight
Past the night
Make me feel the ache of the nails

Ó Pamela Whitehead 2011

I was so passionate about my work.  EVERYONE who knew me and saw me at work knew that I loved my job.  Then I met this man…He changed my life.  He gave me a new perspective, a broader perspective, an eternal outlook.  I could never again look at my patients the same. I could never again offer them the temporal healing of a pill without first offering them the hem of His garment, just a touch of His Power, the Blood of Jesus.  This man, who was God in the flesh, sinless and perfect…He came into my Spirit and transformed me.  He gave me new desires, a new heart, REAL love…things I had never felt before like true compassion with no selfishness, love with no conditions or motives, a heart to serve with no expectation, gratitude without criticism.

So…I say all this to say that I left my career, my profession, my security of 20 years to follow Him. I now work for a non-profit whose focus is restoration of families, refreshing the weary, and building leaders.  If we can begin in the home with the family and begin a transformation, then we can essentially affect the community, the city, the nation, and the world…but it starts in the home.  I know this to be true.  This job that I had was my provider.  I looked to my work for my security…see I had faith in my paycheck instead of my Lord and Savior.  I was working for man, not the Lord.   I am not telling everyone to leave their career and take an enormous pay cut to walk it out with God. Let me see…okay, here’s the story:

I began serving at Jordan Ranch in 2010, not long after I had committed my life to Jesus Christ and He came in to dwell in my temple. Things began to happen in my home:  though I had submitted to his authority in our home, there was this thing that was over my husband and I.  All this time, I am praying and asking the Lord to lift my husband up and make him the honorable man that he was created to be , strong and courageous, a man of faith and integrity.  So as I am asking God to do this thing in my husband’s life, He begins to work on ME.  I am serving with all of my heart, admittedly sometimes I wanted to be at Jordan Ranch more than my home because there was this heaviness that surrounded us that I just wanted cast away, rebuked in Jesus Name, and GONE!  God was changing my heart…not just how I respond to others, but what I desire.  He began to give me His desires, to seek and save the lost, to see people live for Him, to see the broken restored, to see the weary refreshed, to see the lost come home, to see leaders reach their full potential for the Kingdom of God.  And then…I heard Him: “Instead of asking me to lift your husband up to his place, why don’t you come down from yours.”  WOW…yeah. He said that. 

Wasn’t too long after this that my spiritual leader at church asked me how much I would need to live on…what would it take for me to leave my job and come work at the Ranch.  I just smiled and didn’t say anything.  I thought it was a joke.  It is a privilege to work for the Lord…ME??? I had already heard the call to be a missionary but surely that was YEARS away. 

Maybe a month later, we had THE MEETING.  Official offer came down from the men of God who make these decisions.  My husband and I began a liquid fast that was going to last 40 days.  Divinely, the last day of our fast was the anniversary of our church and the end of our Kill the Giant campaign that we kicked off the pay off the debt on Jordan Ranch.  Ten days into the fast, our answer was clear.  LET’S DO THIS!  We took a huge pay cut (half of my salary) to work for the Lord full time.  This thing that was over us was no more: I am no longer the burden bearer or bread winner in our family.  I am now where I have always desired to be, secure and covered, and my house is in order.  The Lord has done a mighty work in my husband…always progressing, not looking for perfection.  He IS an honorable man, a faithful man, and a man of much integrity.  How could we say NO to God?  He is faithful and will complete the good work that He began in us.  He tells us that He has plans for us, to prosper us and for our future.  He promises that if we follow His book of instruction and remain strong and courageous we will be successful and prosper.  We could not say no to God.  We know that what we are doing will save lives, restore families, and build leaders at Jordan Ranch.  I have no regrets, no doubts, no FEAR!  It is His will…

I haven’t even thought about my old career.  It doesn’t mean that I didn’t love my co-workers, I did and still do, but that chapter, that door is closed.  The first door that the Lord closed in my life that has never been opened was addiction. Never opened it again.  Now, this door is closed: the fear of lack.  We now live on faith and He supplies all of our needs.   When He closes doors, no man can open them.  Even better: when He opens doors, no man can close them! AMEN