Curious? Just ask me…

I know that many folks’ curiosity is peaked.  I am sure that “common courtesy” and “manners” as well keeps you from asking the question that everyone wants to know.  No, he is not here and has not been since October. No we are not together.  And no, we are not getting a divorce.  [At least not that I have heard…]

I have resigned myself to the fact that if I have to spend the rest of my days on earth apart from my husband in order to spend eternity with him in heaven, then I can do that.  If he must continue his journey of seeking his own way to find His Way, then carry on soldier. Our paths are not linked right now.  He is taking the long way home…

It’s difficult for some to understand my reaction to the circumstances in my life.  My faith and my God is bigger and stronger than any storm that blows through my home.  I know the enemy and I know his tactics.  He is attacking the ministry…not me or my husband.  He wants the seed…the testimony…the weapon that slays him. For him, it is not personal.  BUT for God, it is personal.  See, though 99 of His sheep tread on the narrow road, He will pursue the one who goes toward the thicket.  He never takes His eyes off of him. He knows and sees.  I know without a doubt that His Promises are true and He is faithful.  Here is a bit of what I know He says:

 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

God will clear a path and point the way…but we must walk it out and go through that door that He opens.  

  …When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them. ~ Isaiah 22:22

He has gifted each of us and He is faithful to complete the work that He begins. 

 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  ~ Philippians 1:6

 For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn. ~ Romans 11:29

I am also aware that without repentance, we cannot have the Presence of God. 

 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. ~ 2 Cor 7:10

“Your deeds won’t let you return to your God.  You are a prostitute through and through, and you do not know the Lord. The arrogance of Israel testifies against her; Israel and Ephraim will stumble under their load of guilt. Judah, too, will fall with them.” ~ Hosea 5:4-5

Persistent sin causes the heart to be hard making it difficult to repent.  Like a build up of scar tissue that has no nerve, the piercing must go deeper, traveling to get to the heart like a laparascope from a surgeon.  So, the consequences build up to a place where they crush us.   He promises to get our attention…He pursues us.  For some it will be conviction (thank God!) but for others, it will take consequences.

“For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened- those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come – and who then turn away from God.  It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once again and holding him up to public shame.” ~ Hebrews 6:4-6

Now, this verse is Truth.  I cannot ignore this and I know what I have seen, what I see now, and what the Word tells me is to come. The Word tells me to do this:

 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses. ~ 1 Timothy 6:12

  For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.      ~ Hebrews 4:12-13

 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.  We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. ~ 2 Cor 10:3-5

But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ. ~ 1 Cor 2:16


You may know that I was in the US Army. In the Army, everything begins with the warrior ethos. The warrior ethos compels soldiers to fight through all conditions to victory no matter how much effort is required. It is the soldiers’ selfless commitment to the nation, mission, unit, and fellow soldiers. It is the professional attitude that inspires every American soldier. Warrior ethos is grounded in a refusal to accept failure. It is developed and sustained through discipline. Army Values form the very identity of the Army. They are nonnegotiable and apply to everyone at all times, in all situations. The trust that Soldiers have for one another and the trust the American people put in us demands that we live up to these values. These values are interdependent; that is, they support one another. You cannot follow one value and ignore another. The seven values that guide all leaders and the rest of the Army are loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage. Leaders must believe in them, model them in personal actions, and teach others to accept them.

The same is true for the Lord’s Army.  Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. Seven values that guide all leaders.  Many, as we learned in Never Quit, try to take an able man and make him faithful. Our human instinct is to take what we need. We see a need, we see someone who can fill the need…so we fill it.  Never really considering: If I was in battle, would I want this person in my foxhole covering me while I move amidst the bullets?
 I had a battle buddy when I was in the Army and I knew (we were trained together) that I better learn to trust and lean on her because she would hold my life in her hands.  You throw out all personality conflicts and you don’t care whether you like the person or not.  It comes down to : will she fire when I am fired upon?  Can she accurately aim and squeeze the trigger? If not, am I willing to help her and teach her and will she give me permission to do that?

I don’t need sympathy or empathy or pity or praise.  I need your prayers.  Just pray.  That’s what you can do for me.  AIM AND FIRE! Give me that assured look right in my eyeballs when I see you that says, “Hey! SUCK IT UP AND DRIVE ON SOLDIER!” When you ask me to pray for you, you know good and well that I do it. So, now…I’m calling in the favors.  And do not feel sorry for me. I am blessed more than you know.  Naturally, it looks like my life is pitiful right now (and you don’t even know the half of it), but supernaturally God has worked it where He gets all the glory.  That’s how I know that I am in His will and not mine.  There is no way in Heaven that I could orchestrate what He has mastered. No way…absolutely no way. One day, I will be able to testify to all of His goodness…but He is still working! So more will be revealed. 


Unborn Victims of Violence

The Unborn Victims of Violence Act of 2004 (Public Law 108-212) is a United States law which recognizes a “child in utero” as a legal victim, if he or she is injured or killed during the commission of any of over 60 listed federal crimes of violence. The law defines “child in utero” as “a member of the species Homo sapiens, at any stage of development, who is carried in the womb”.

Whoever engages in conduct that violates any of the provisions of law listed in subsection (b) and thereby causes the death of, or bodily injury (as defined in section 1365) to, a child, who is in utero at the time the conduct takes place, is guilty of a separate offense under this section.

Now, this law has an exception:

Nothing in this section shall be construed to permit the prosecution—
(1) of any person for conduct relating to an abortion for which the consent of the pregnant woman, or a person authorized by law to act on her behalf, has been obtained or for which such consent is implied by law…

Why would there need to be an exception if the “fetus” is not a child? Why is it okay to kill my baby as long as you regulate and ensure that “no one gets hurt”…except for my unborn baby? And also, if I have the CHOICE, then why can’t I choose the method? A clothes hanger, a gun, a knife, or an overdose of heroin in my veins…


 Texas penal code defines an “individual” as this: “Individual” means a human being who is alive, including an unborn child at every stage of gestation from fertilization until birth.  Texas penal code defines “person” as: “Person” means an individual, corporation, or association. 
[So, according to TX penal code, an unborn child is a person because he is an individual, which would recognize the personhood of all unborn babies thereby defining abortion as murder. CAN I GET A WITNESS please…I need a lawyer.]
“Death” includes, for an individual who is an unborn child, the failure to be born alive.
The Unborn Victims of Violence Act was signed in 2004 by then President George W. Bush following the Laci/Connor Peterson murders by her husband and his father, Scott Peterson.  Bush said, “Any time an expectant mother is a victim of violence, two lives are in the balance, each deserving protection, and each deserving justice. If the crime is murder and the unborn child’s life ends, justice demands a full accounting under the law.” Senator John Kerry, his main opponent in the 2004 Presidential election, voted against the bill, saying, “I have serious concerns about this legislation because the law cannot simultaneously provide that a fetus is a human being and protect the right of the mother to choose to terminate her pregnancy.” HMMMMM…
This is a perfect example of doublemindedness.  See, you carry this pro-choice logic out to the end and it always breaks down.  It has no substance because it is rooted in confusion. There is no depth to it because it is built and based on human understanding and intellect, which is finite. Give it up!  You know that life begins at conception…it is proven here.  Just admit that you believe it is okay to murder babies in the womb and that argument can die.  We can then begin to touch hearts once you remove that shield of lies that you have covering it.  Denying the Truth will never change it. 
 If this Act was signed in 2004 by a pro life President, think of what could be done if we elect another ProLife President???

All Things Work together for the GOOD…

 I am supposed to be a statistic:

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds.
• Almost five children die every day as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4. 

• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

• 31 percent percent of women in prison in the United States were abused as children.

• Over 60 percent of people in drug rehabilitation centers report being abused or neglected as a child.

• About 30 percent of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.

• About 80 percent of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 

• Abused children are 25 percent more likely to experience teen pregnancy.
• Abused teens are 3 times less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. 

  • Child abuse victims placed in foster or kinship care because of abuse or neglect were found to score lower than other students in tests of cognitive capacity, language development, and academic achievement.
  •  Adults who suffered child abuse and neglect can develop allergies, arthritis, asthma, bronchitis, high blood pressure, and ulcers, in addition to other physical disabilities because of poor health caused by the abuse.

______________________________________________________________ If listened to what the world tells me (the highlighted text above), I would be dead.  If I sought the world’s answers, I would be insane.  The Bible tells me that if I seek, then I will find.  I believe that to be true.  I must consider where I am seeking and what I am looking for.  If I am seeking sympathy, then I will continue to carry the source of the sympathy…the illness, the trauma, the pain, etc.  If I am seeking a diagnosis, then I am sure to receive a diagnosis and remain sick.  See, where am I looking for my answers?   Here are the answers that I sought out:

He said, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the Lord who heals you.” ~ Exodus 15:26
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. ~ 1 John 4:4


 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. ~ Romans 12:2

 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ~ John 3:16

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins.  He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.  In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.. ~ Colossians 2:13-15

Now, what’s that you say about me?  HA! I am a child of the Most High!  He tells me who I am and what I am to do!  The world is ruled by the evil one and he is defeated by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony! I shout it from the rooftops that though you meant it for evil, God has used it for good! [Genesis 50:20]  I know today that my past can give someone a future.  
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” ~ Romans 8:28


Prophesy over yourself today.  If you are sick in your body or your mind: depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, worry, any illness or disease…know that Christ took stripes upon His back and shed Blood that we may be healed and overcome.  Your testimony today, if you are a believer, is that you are more than a conquerer.  If you do not know Christ, today is the day of salvation.  Ask Him to come into your heart and make Him Lord of your life.  Read the Word of God which reveals His heart so you can get to know Him.  Begin to attend a Bible based, spirit filled church and be edified and equipped, strengthened and encouraged.  

Joy of the Lord…Blessings of the Lord…FEAR of the Lord

How joyful are those who fear the Lord— all who follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be! Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. That is the Lord’s blessing for those who fear him. ~ Psalm 128:1-4
My Daughter, Cassidy Ellen  
If we fear the Lord, then we will follow His ways which will lead to JOY! So, the opposite must be true and that is why we see such misery and despair, such a quest for temporary satisfaction.  No fear of the Lord=NO JOY.  No obedience=NO BLESSING. 
The Scripture tells us that we will enjoy the fruit of our labor if we fear the Lord and follow His ways.  I see many who have fruit from their labor, but they are definitely not enjoying it, they are continually laboring over it or managing it.  There is truly no joy in that and I would not call that prosperity! 
A Young Olive Tree…  

To have children like vigorous young olive trees is a blessing! I researched an olive tree. I have never grown one (I’ve grown a lot of trees and veggies!). A good density of fruit on each branch is required for productive picking. The way to achieve this density is PRUNING, or discipline. An unpruned tree will have olives scattered in groups of one or two all over an untidy bush. Such trees are costly and frustrating to pick. A primary objective of pruning is to produce dense clusters that can be stripped off the tree in great showers. So pruned trees (disciplined children) will produce great clusters of fruit, rather than sparse groups that are inconsistent and unmanageable.  The pruning of young trees follows two contradictory principles that must be BALANCED. The first is to shape the tree into the form that, except for frost damage, will be its structure for life. The other is to allow the young tree to grow and build energy reserves.  A determination to form the perfect shape by excessive pruning will weaken the young tree and stunt its growth for a number of years. Achieving the right balance is part of the realm of art and talent that distinguishes the good pruner from the heavy handed one.  

Our children require discipline, but this discipline must come from a place of love.  Just as our obedience to God will not be fruitful if not from our heart, our discipline of our children will not produce a healthy fear if not done in love. 
It is important to shape our children into what we want them to be.  It’s interesting that the olive tree is shaped first into what it will be for life.  Except for frost damage…that is interesting to me.  I have “frost damage”.  I was beaten and abused in every way a child can suffer misuse.  BUT, it is not the structure for my life.  That was “frost damage”.  I have been pruned and reshaped, molded into the image of Christ.
One of the important facts to emerge is that the olive fruit requires strong sunlight at every stage from fruit set to oil production. Olive flowers that are in deep shade will not set in large numbers. Those that do will not produce good levels of oil. Pruning is therefore needed to reduce the density of the foliage and allow sunlight to penetrate into every part of the olive tree. That will preach…We will not produce good levels of oil if we have dark corners.   
 “If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.” ~ Luke 11:36 
OIL represents faith.  We are the Light of the world because we are full of faith…the oil that lights the lamp. 
 The Word says that this is the Lord’s blessing: children like vigorous young olive trees (Psalm 128:3).
  • Malachi 2:15 tells us that what God wants from our marriages is godly fruit.
  • Psalm 127:3 tells us that children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from Him…once again, a blessing.

So why do we continue to slaughter the blessings of the Lord that are given to millions of men and women every year, 1.5 million to be accurate?

We wonder why we have such meaningless tragedies plaguing our land…we have no blessing. We are under a curse!!!

REVERSE THE CURSE! Abolish abortion in our lifetime.

Let’s begin to be a voice for those who have no voice.  Following a horrible tragedy in Connecticut, I couldn’t help but notice that, even if briefly, the nation’s heart was turned toward the value of a life.  My question is this: 

If knowing how their lives would end, would these mothers have still made the same decision, to birth their children?  Is it better to have your children for only 6 years or never at all?  Is it worth it?  Would it have been better for them to never have been born?
Lord Jesus, I cry out to you in my most holy faith asking You to turn the hearts of Your people back to You. I pray that we would speak Your Word unashamed and with boldness and zeal, not fearing any man but out of our reverent fear of the Lord. I pray that You would guide and lead each of us as parents, Holy Spirit, to mold our children into the structure for their life…beginning with the foundation in You.  We love You, Lord and thank You that You have entrusted us with these precious gifts.  Help me to never again take for granted the special treasure You have laid before me.  Help me to be Your mouthpiece, put Your words on my lips out of the abundance of my heart. In Jesus Name, AMEN